Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Pet Peeves?

Environmentalist, tree hugging nazi types.
Lets face it… very few of us are that deeply concerned about the environment in such a way as to allow it to alter our present life and comforts... Everyone either owns an auto which consumes gas and emits pollution [large or small amounts... pollution is still released] or has ridden in one without ever considering the long term effects to our atmosphere... rarely if ever do any normalized citizens leave their comforts and go pick up garbage on the roadside or along the beach or at the park. Do any of us recycle -everything-? I could go on and on... but I think I have made my point here. It’s –not- the second ice age, stupid!

The Electoral College.
This entire system of election is archaic, out of date and out of touch with the world we live in today. The technology exists today which could eliminate the obviously flawed [Florida!?!?!] ancient system and replace it with a vote-for-vote system to elect our public officials. The state I live in [California] has 55 electoral votes... Vermont has 5. This says to the people in Vermont that the voters in California are 11 times more important when it comes to electing your next President. Is the fair and equal? You decide. It’s –not- 1883 anymore!
You can go HERE to read more on both sides of the debate about e-voting...


Special interests.
Two words for you... -Majority Vote-
Life is –not- fair, get a helmet!

Drive thru employees.
I get peeved beyond comprehension when I am trying to place an order through the drive-thru and the kid interrupts me multiple times, asking 'Will that be all?' in an obviously rushed tone of voice which illustrates to me that this person isn't paying attention to my order. However, don't we all feel the silent fear inside ourselves which compels us to be nice to this guy only because we believe deep inside that fear that he will do unspeakable acts upon our food if we do not?!?! Why must a fast food joint put the most unintelligible, impatient, rude, burned-out, incomprehensible employee in the drive thru?!?!? Customer service is –not- an accident, stupid!

Telemarketing people.
These are the people who got fired from their last job working in the Burger King drive thru and only a home mortgage refinance telemarketing company would hire them. I have only one thing to say to these guys when they call and interrupt my evening... "Give me your name. the name of your company, manager and a business callback number and then go check www.donotcall.gov and find this number you have just called... enjoy your $11,000.00 violation. Have a nice day!"
I wonder if Burger King will be giving him his old job back?
Do –not- call me anymore, stupid!

Commercial television.

I pay over $100 a month for television. I get a gazillion channels… but I –PAY- for this service. So why do I have to endure commercials? The service should be free if it has commercials. If you pay for it, you should be allowed to watch anything and everything without interruption. I miss the old days of satellite TV when there were no commercials. Furthermore… I hate how commercials are always louder than the program you are watching. The people who make commercials are certainly to blame for my old television set going out on me. I constantly had to adjust the volume… until one day it just quit. Thankfully the nice people at Philips make a great TV, which filters the sound level for you… YAY! No more raised volume during TV breaks. Now… if only I could figure out how to set it to auto mute every time a commercial comes on…

Rebate offers.
Why in the name of everything that is holy must electronics manufacturers offer a rebate instead of fairly pricing their product? Rebates exist because that manufacturer is banking on the hope that the consumer [you and I!] will forget or fail to send in all the necessary items for the rebate to be given. Lets let this sink in a moment. We, as consumers must –overpay- for a product and then spend our time –applying- for a return of our money and are subject to time limitations and paperwork deluxe before we have a chance at that return. This infuriates me. I understand that I am in essence, -giving away my money- to a company and allowing them to earn interest on my money before I get it back… oh… without return interest.

Hot dogs and hot dog buns.

I cannot handle the math involved here, people! Hot dog wieners come in packs of 8. Buns come in packs of 6. This is a serious problem to me. You’d think the people who make buns would talk to the guys holding their wieners and get their heads together on this one… otherwise, I am forced to buy 8 packs of buns and 6 packs of wieners just to have a bun for every wiener that I throw out on the grill! Come on, people! We put a man on the moon… can we at least get our buns in order?!?!
I'm almost certain John Kerry is to blame for this some how... I bet Heinze stands to gain a fortune through all that 'fuzzy math'...

The latest trend.
I think my utter burning hatred began when line dancing became a trend. I hate trendy songs and trendy music groups like that Achy-Breaky guy… and then line dancing… and then that Latino one hit wonder Rico Suave who paved the way for the Macarena and Living la Vida Loca… boy bands like Nsync and Backstreet Boys… freak parade musicians like Marylyn Manson or the Insane Clown Posse and everything they stand for or spout out of their mouths through their ‘music’… I hate reality television… Get real… Animal planet is reality television… why? Because the crocodile doesn’t know he’s on TV. Human beings will always act when put in front of a camera which will go on TV… why? Because we’re flawed people who think that others will be entertained by what we do or say… reality TV needs to go the way of the Chevy Chase show… Metrosexuality needs to die too. Men were made to be men. Society needs to quit trying to feminize us! Furthermore, society needs to quit trying to force women to become more masculine too. Let us open a door for you now and then… let us pick up the check at dinner too… and don’t feel threatened when we want to invite the guys over to drink beer and watch football on Monday night. Trend diets need to die as well… Since when did carbohydrates suddenly become the Devil? Large isn’t good enough anymore, we have to super size everything… lunch isn’t lunch anymore… it’s all you can eat! Try this diet, America… eat what you want… just less of it… and get off the couch and get into a gym… better yet… jog to the gym and jog home. Pastry, is –not- the devil!

Shoddy public engineering.
I sigh every time I have to use a public toilet at a restaurant and they have designed the room in such a way that I have to touch the door handle on my way out. I’ve just washed my hands… I don’t want to touch –anything- else except a clean towel and that is IT. I belong to a rare minority of people who actually practice good hygiene. Everyone else use public restrooms and do not… and then after handling their ‘business’ touch the same door handle on the way out that I have to touch… Does that door handle ever get sanitized? Maybe. There is a remote possibility that perhaps once a week that handle is sprayed down with a disinfectant and properly sanitized. I shudder to think how many people have touched that handle in any given 24 hour period and then returned to their food… especially finger food like fries or chicken wings… or worse… return to the table and go back to feeding their child in the booster chair. For Gods sake, can we put the door handle on the OUTSIDE of the door a hinge the door so that it swings from in to out? At least then I can gently encourage the door to swing open with my foot. Thank you very much!

Netspeak or Liketalk.
Like… I totally like… cannot stand like… when, you know like… people who totally like… you know, like... cannot seem to like… complete a whole sentence, like… you know?
And you know what I’m saying… like… yo check it… I’m jus’ tryin to show da love bro.. know what I’m sayin yo… cuz I’m jus keeping it real.. ya know what I’m sayin bro… like I gota represent ya know what I’m sayin yo?… yo you bedda’ not be frontin dog cuz I’m for real yo… know what I’m sayin’?…
OMG lol Roflma! U suk foo! J00 got Pwned L1k3 a bY0tCh! Lol!!!! HAHAHAH! []\/\/n@g3!!! Raaarggg!

The English language has taken a severe beating. It is no wonder that here in America our children are getting more and more dumb by the minute. For crying out loud… the majority of our kids only speak ONE language!!! …and they SUCK at speaking, reading and writing it!!!

Two words: Webster’s Dictionary. [One should read up on the life of Webster. Very interesting. Alfred Nobel too... I bet 99% of all American kids today couldn’t tell you {without keyword google searching} what Alfred Nobel invented in his lifetime.] See my point?

Gangs.
Gangs, gang-bangers, wanna-be hip-hoppers, tattooed, basketball jersey wearing, one pant leg up, hat turned sideways, visor turned upside down, red bandana, blue bandana, black-and-mild smoking, cronic hitting, anti-cop, anti-authority, spray painting, graffiti tagging, khaki pants sagging, boxer briefs showing, low riding, low moral, cold, hard criminal, thieving, murdering, neighborhood terrorizing human trash. Being a person who is well versed in gangster rap lyrics is no substitute for being a contributing member of society.
Gangsters need to go the way of the Chevy Chase show, too.

ATM Fees.
No explanation required.
It’s –MY- money… now, give it back!

Billboard signs in scenic space along the highway.
What ever happened to enjoying natural splendor? Why did my view of the great American West have to be covered up with mile upon mile of billboard signs and over saturation advertisement? Evil corporate America needs to go the way of the Chevy Chase show.

Non-gamers.
Those who pass judgment on me for spending lots of money to purchase the latest and greatest computer that money can buy… the fastest connection to the internet I can get… the most comfortable office chair… surround sound system… ect ect…
Everyone has that one –thing- which they enjoy doing that is a borderline obsession. For some people it is sports. Sports Fans. Fan… short for Fanatic. Or extreme sports junkies. Key word: Extreme. Mountain biking, rock climbing, scuba diving, kayaking, skydiving. There are a lot of other hobbies that are less as extreme, but are equally expensive nonetheless such as camping, exercising, working on classic cars, so on and so forth. Then you have the mundane such as building miniatures, collecting –stuff- or doing crossword puzzles. All of these hobbies can cost a lot of money and/or time, yet somehow people who enjoy gaming get snubbed for ‘wasting their time’ in front of a computer.
Computer gaming as an industry rivals Hollywood. I’m not up on my latest statistics, but I would wager that the gaming industry when taken as a whole, [PC and console games, ect…] will someday overtake the music and movie industry combined. [If it hasn’t yet!]

People who bash Martha Stewart.
Leave her alone people. She’s a wonderful woman who has made a name for herself by warming millions of homes worldwide with her recipes, her interior designs, arrangements and decorations. In fact, why don’t we all stop bashing celebrities all together?

Hmm… That’s it for now… unless I come across as slightly neurotic.

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